Living Under Someone Else’s Narrative

By Karen Chaston

What if the story you were told about your life
wasn’t the one you lived, are living…

the one you walked and are walking every single day?

What if, from your very first breath,
your name, your identity, your emotions, “your entire reality”
were rewritten by others?

“You were chosen.”
“You had a good life.”
“You should be grateful.”
“There’s no reason to look back.”
“There’s nothing missing.”

But what if… there was?

What if your body remembered something
your mind was never allowed to speak?

The first voice you ever heard.
The rhythm of her heartbeat.
The scent of safety; all gone.

And when you tried to explain the ache,
to name the emptiness,
to voice the longing that lingered like mist in your being…
you were met with confusion.
Dismissal.
Even well-meaning love that sounded like erasure.

Because the world was already holding your story.
Tightly.
Defensively.
As though it belonged to them.

As though your lived experience could be overwritten
by their version of events – never once walking in your shoes.

This is what it means to live under someone else’s narrative.
To wear a mask they handcrafted for you.
To walk a path pre-written in gratitude and silence.
To smile through grief.
To stay small; so their comfort isn’t disrupted.

And now, this has to stop.

Because the story isn’t yours to control.
And no one has the right to force someone to
live under someone else’s narrative.

No one should have to fight for permission
to feel their own life.
To speak their truth.
To own their story.

Especially not adoptees.

They didn’t choose this story.
They didn’t write it.
But they live it – every single day.

And it’s time we listened.
Not to rewrite it for them.
But to witness it.
To honour it.
To give it back.

So, they can live their life;
not the one they were given,
but the one that was always theirs.

Have you ever told an adoptee what their story is?
What might shift if, instead… you asked them?

#AdoptionAwareness #ListenToAdoptees #RewriteTheNarrative

#EmotionalFingerprint #ItWasNeverYourStoryToTell