Solving One Side of the Rubik’s Cube…

and Calling it Complete

By Karen Chaston

When it comes to adoption, society often celebrates what I call “one side of the cube” thinking.

We see the smiling family photos.
The joyful reunion moments.
The headlines that say things like, “You were chosen,” or “Loved twice.”

And just like that, we’re told the puzzle – the problem – is solved.

But if you’ve ever picked up a Rubik’s Cube, you’ll know the truth.

Focusing on one side; making it look neat, tidy, and “just right” almost always scrambles the rest.

That’s exactly what the fairytale narrative of adoption has done.

In tidying up the story for adoptive parents…
We’ve silenced the grief of biological mothers.
We’ve ignored the ache of fathers who were never even invited into the story.
And we’ve blurred out – even disenfranchised – the adoptee’s lifelong struggle with abandonment, rejection, identity, belonging, and connection.

The truth is, adoption isn’t a one-sided story.
It’s a layered, emotional, often painful puzzle.
It’s about separation and survival.
Love, yes – but more so, loss.
Joy and gratitude, sometimes; but also, grief, guilt, and deep emotional complexity.

At The Chaston Centre, through The Emotional Fingerprint of an Adoptee,

we’re working to solve the whole cube; not just polish up one side…

That ignores the emotional and psychological trauma left behind for everyone else.

Because healing can’t happen until we acknowledge all the pieces;
Not just the ones that feed our storytelling desire for a happy ending;
even when the story has nothing to do with reality.

Let’s stop settling for tidy illusions.
And start making space for the full emotional reality.
Because adoption begins with loss;
and it creates lifelong emotional and psychological trauma for everyone involved.

#AdoptionAwareness #AdopteeVoices #EmotionalFingerprint

#BeyondTheFairytale #AdoptionTrauma #TheChastonCentre