Stepping Beyond the Circle They Never Chose

By Karen Chaston

A spider.
A circle drawn around it.
It doesn’t cross the line.
Even though it can.
It walks right up to the edge… then stops.

Now take the same spider.
Place it down first, then draw the circle after.
This time, it walks right over.
Unaffected. Free.

Why?

Because it didn’t see the boundary being drawn.
It never internalised the limit.

And I couldn’t help reflecting…
Isn’t this what happens to so many adoptees?

They are placed inside a circle shaped by society:
“You had a good life.”
“You were chosen.”
“You should be grateful.”
“There’s nothing missing.”

They grow up within this circle society drew around them – quiet, compliant, careful not to challenge it.

Even though something deep within them aches; a gentle tug toward what’s beyond…

a deep knowing that their true self awaits,
Yet, they still pause at the edge.

Afraid to question.
Afraid to be seen as ungrateful.
Afraid they’ll be misunderstood.

And perhaps the most liberating awareness and understanding of all:
The circle was drawn around them without their permission.
They didn’t choose it – they inherited it.
And healing begins when they realise…

They can step beyond it.
They don’t have to stay within the lines others drew around them.
Their truth matters – even when it doesn’t fit the narrative.

To every adoptee quietly standing at the edge:
You’re allowed to step over the line.
The world outside the circle might feel unfamiliar at first…
But it’s where your voice, your story, and your freedom live.

It’s where you begin to heal and beyond your true authentic self

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